Life by Design

Build a life by design, not by accident — and leave behind a story worth telling.

Marriage

Two become one

Marriage is a covenant, not a contract. Contracts have exit clauses. Covenants are binding for life. You didn’t marry because your spouse met all your needs—you married to become one flesh, for better or worse, until death.

Most marriages struggle because people treat them like upgraded dating. They expect constant romance, effortless compatibility, and perpetual happiness. When reality hits—conflict, disappointment, mundane routines—they wonder if they married the wrong person. They didn’t. They just had the wrong expectations.

Marriage isn’t about finding the perfect person. It’s about being the right spouse. It’s sacrifice, service, and daily commitment to someone who will frustrate you, fail you, and require grace you don’t always feel like giving. That’s not a flaw in marriage—that’s the design. Marriage refines you. It exposes your selfishness and teaches you to love when it costs you.

Here’s what it takes to build a marriage that lasts.

The 6 core principles:

1
Love Sacrificially
Put your spouse's needs above your own. Serve them. Prioritize them. Die to yourself daily. Love isn't a feeling—it's a decision to act for their good even when you don't feel like it. Husbands, love like Christ loved the church—sacrificially. Wives, respect and support your husband. This isn't about fairness. It's about covenant.
“Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” — Ephesians 5:25
2
Communicate Honestly
Talk. Every day. About everything. Don't assume they know what you're thinking. Don't hint. Don't expect them to read your mind. Say what you need. Say what's bothering you. Listen when they speak. Don't interrupt. Don't dismiss. Marriage thrives on honest, consistent communication. Silence kills it.
“Let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.” — Ephesians 5:33
3
Prioritize Intimacy
Be physically intimate regularly. Don't withhold. Don't use sex as leverage. Your bodies belong to each other. Pursue emotional intimacy too—know your spouse deeply. Share your thoughts, fears, dreams. Spiritual intimacy matters—pray together, worship together, grow in faith together. Intimacy in all forms keeps you connected.
“The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband.” — 1 Corinthians 7:3
4
Resolve Conflict Quickly
Don't let issues fester. Address problems directly and quickly. Don't go to bed angry. Don't withdraw. Don't punish with silence. Fight fair—no name-calling, no bringing up the past, no attacking character. Resolve the issue, forgive fully, and move forward. Every couple has conflict. Strong couples resolve it.
“Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger.” — Ephesians 4:26
5
Pray Together
Pray with your spouse regularly. Not just at meals—real, vulnerable prayer. Pray for each other. Pray through decisions. Pray through trials. Spiritual unity strengthens everything else. Couples who pray together build intimacy that goes beyond the physical and emotional. You're unified in purpose, not just cohabiting.
“Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” — Ecclesiastes 4:12
6
Protect Your Marriage
Guard it from threats. Set boundaries with the opposite sex. Don't complain about your spouse to others. Don't let work consume you. Don't prioritize kids over your spouse. Don't let bitterness take root. Protect your time together. Protect your commitment. Your marriage is under attack—defend it.
“Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled.” — Hebrews 13:4

START HERE: Start with one honest conversation this week. Ask your spouse: “How can I love you better?” Listen to the answer. Don’t defend. Don’t deflect. Just listen and act on what they say. That’s where strong marriages are built—one intentional conversation at a time.

WHAT CHANGES: When you invest in your marriage, everything strengthens. Trust deepens. Intimacy grows. Conflicts resolve faster. You become a team, not opponents. You weather storms together instead of letting them drive you apart. Your marriage becomes a refuge—a place of safety, love, and partnership. Your kids see what covenant love looks like. Your life becomes a testimony to God’s faithfulness. Marriage isn’t easy. But when you fight for it, it becomes the greatest earthly relationship you’ll ever have.

God designed marriage to mirror Christ and the church. Honor it like that.

READY FOR STRUCTURE? Start The Marriage Challenge → – One principle per week, strengthening the covenant that lasts a lifetime.